Two Years......

Friday, November 7, 2014

Two Years......

today marks two years of my divorce being final.
two years.  insane. 
 i could sit here and type how the past two years have changed me.  what it's taught me.  and how i have learned to look at life in a completely different way.  however i need to take this time to thank my kids.  holy smokes they have handled this business like pros.  i can't even begin to explain to you just how amazing they are.  this hasn't been a cake walk by ANY means.  but they have truly made it look so easy.  are there days they just don't wana go to dads.  holidays when they do not want to have to run around and hit four different families.  events that they don't want to attend and they just want to stay at home.  absolutely.  but they do.  sure, sometimes there are tears, but they do not last long.  they do them, with their adorable smiling faces, and when it's over, and they get to come running back home, they have the BEST look on their faces and always, always coming flying in the house happy as ever.  ready to tackle on the next venture.
 seriously - i am the luckiest mom in the world!!

i found an article the other day that a mom wrote to her kids.  she was dying and they were in their teen years (totally not our situation at all), but it really hit home.  so many of these things are things i want to tell my kids.  not just because of the divorce but just because life is hard.  it's not at all what you have it perfectly imagine to be.  but just small simple things that you constantly keep in mind - can make the world of difference.  check it out. 
“Look – here are a couple of things I've learnt on the way that you might find useful in the coming years. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it’s a good start.
“The main thing is just to try to be nice. You already are - and so I want you to hang on to that and never let it go. Keep slowly turning it up, like a dimmer switch, whenever you can. Just resolve to shine, constantly and steadily, like a warm lamp in the corner, and people will want to move towards you in order to feel happy, and to read things more clearly. You will be bright and constant in a world of dark and flux, and this will save you the anxiety of other, ultimately less satisfying things like ‘being cool’, ‘being more successful than everyone else’ and ‘being very thin’.
“Second, always remember that, nine times out of ten, you probably aren’t having a full-on nervous breakdown – you just need a cup of tea and a biscuit. You’d be amazed how easily and repeatedly you can confuse the two. Get a big biscuit tin.
“Three – always pick up worms off the pavement and put them on the grass. They’re having a bad day, and they’re good for… the earth or something.
“Four: choose your friends because you feel most like yourself around them, because the jokes are easy and you feel like you’re in your best outfit when you’re with them, even though you’re just in a T-shirt. Never love someone whom you think you need to mend – or who makes you feel like you should be mended. There are boys out there who look for shining girls; they will stand next to you and say quiet things in your ear that only you can hear and that will slowly drain the joy out of your heart. The books about vampires are true, baby. Drive a stake through their hearts and run away.
“Stay at peace with your body. While it’s healthy, never think of it as a problem or a failure. Pat your legs occasionally and thank them for being able to run. Put your hands on your belly and enjoy how soft and warm you are – marvel over the world turning over within, the brilliant meat clockwork, as I did when you were inside me and I dreamt of you every night.
“Whenever you can’t think of something to say in a conversation, ask people questions instead. Even if you’re next to a man who collects pre-Seventies screws and bolts, you will probably never have another opportunity to find out so much about pre-Seventies screws and bolts, and you never know when it will be useful.
“This segues into the next tip: life divides into AMAZING ENJOYABLE TIMES and APPALLING EXPERIENCES THAT WILL MAKE FUTURE AMAZING ANECDOTES. However awful, you can get through any experience if you imagine yourself, in the future, telling your friends about it as they scream, with increasing disbelief, ‘NO! NO!’ Even when Jesus was on the cross, I bet He was thinking, ‘When I rise in three days, the disciples aren’t going to believe this when I tell them about it.’
“Babyiest, see as many sunrises and sunsets as you can. Run across roads to smell fat roses. Always believe you can change the world – even if it’s only a tiny bit, because every tiny bit needed someone who changed it. Think of yourself as a silver rocket – use loud music as your fuel; books like maps and co-ordinates for how to get there. Host extravagantly, love constantly, dance in comfortable shoes, talk to your parents every day and never, ever start smoking. It’s like buying a fun baby dragon that will grow and eventually burn down your f***ing house.


Amanda aka Manda said...

This is beautiful Cassie! I'm not gonna lie, got a little teary eyed. You're so strong and your kids are AMAZING!

Christine said...

Loved reading this! You are strong!

The Pink Growl said...

Love this! Tuesday was my 2 years from my breakup. I cannot tell you how important a role you have played in my healing, just by sharing what you went through and how your survived to tell about it. So proud of you and your kiddos are AMAZING! Love ya girl!

Tina Steibel said...

My favorite post. Proud of you and your sisters every day...


Anonymous said...

You really do have 2 amazing kids!!! And they have a pretty awesome & fun mom too!

Shannon Snodgrass said...

Love the letter! We can all learn from her words!
Cassie, you beautiful, beautiful girl, are a bright shining light in a world that can sometimes seem so dark! Keep on shinning!!! XOXO

Kacie Jones said...

This post is an amazing read! You have done this well! You are an amazing mom and have two happy, adorable, and fun kids! Love you!