If You Really Knew Me

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

If You Really Knew Me

i've been seeing this around the blog world.
thought i'd jump on the train.
if you really knew me....
my sisters and i have matching tattoos on our wrist.
i kinda regret it because it's impossible to hide and i feel everyone notices it.
sorry sisters.
and that tattoo makes it two tattoos for me.
the first i got on my 18th birthday.
sat on my foot for three days before i told my mom.
along with those tats i have two piercings.
my ears and my belly button.
i've had the same belly button ring since i got it done ten years ago.
weird and gross, i know.
my sister once had her nipple pierce.
and it wasn't lacie.
i know - when she came home from college i totally made her show people.
i STILL can't believe it.
if you really knew me....
you'd know i have a crazy hard outside but the inside is mush.
i'm quiet the softie.  yep i even cry.  gasp!
of course when no one is around.
yes yes believe it or not i have a heart.
trust me i check it hourly.
what else....
i rarely take meds.
even when they are prescribed.
i am just not a pill fan.
ok except for the BC pill.
but shit i hate that crap so much i got the IUD.
too much?
let's see, if you really knew me....
you'd know i almost swallowed an enema one time.
yes put it in my mouth.
when it was totally supposed to go in another hole.
yes i was completely sober.
if you really knew me you'd know i like my coffee lighter than my skin.
at work it's five shakes of the creamer, yes five, and two splendas.
does wonders in other departments.
especially on days when i bring yogurt for breakfast.
but at home it's a ton of skim milk and a scoop of splenda.
and of course i like drinking it outa my 'i'm 50 and damn proud of it' coffee cup.
yes, i sometimes think i'm a old lady shoved in a 25 year olds body.
if you really knew me you'd know never to mess with my sisters.
but i think that's pretty well known.
you'd also know....
i am a country music junkie.
i still even buy cds.  SMH.
i was a home owner at the age of 21.
i'm not really a fan of shoes....
i usually only always own just one pair of tennis shoes.
about four pairs of heels and the rest just flip flops.
i pretty much wear heels every day.
and i actually own a good handful of socks.
i just never wear them.  like ever.
i kinda don't even push the issue with my kids.
oh you don't wana wear socks?  GREAT!
oh yeah and i pee in the shower too.  daily.
but hey i'm the only one who cleans it so why not.
and like i've said before i've yet to have athletes foot.
i am a burt's bee's addict.
ok and sudoku.
oh and fountain pibb.  so good.
i'm also a one handed texter.  kinda jelly of the people who can text who two hands.
maybe it's because of my toe thumb.
ahhh, we will just end on the toe thumb comment.....

come on share, what would i be surprised to know about you?!


Katie said...

hahahahahah omg I love this!!! I thought of the toe thumb as soon as you said you were a one handed texter. But one hell of a fast texter especially for one hand!

Im not a fan of tattoos but I actually really like the two that you have. Maybe it's just the outline thing that doesn't make it so in your face.

I feel like I knew that about Danielle, but my jaw still dropped when I read it.

LMAO swallowed an enema??! WHY?? WHAT??! Please tell me this story.

I've had a "if you really knew me" blog draft for a couple days. I keep getting distracted.

Adrien said...

Hahaha, I can't believe you're fessing up on your sister's behalf - that is hilarious!

I wish I had more juicy things to tell, but...if you really knew me...you would know that I was the most boring person on the planet. ;)

sblind2 said...

This is great!! I love your sisters tat!!

Katie said...

I also hate shoes and socks..I only own 3 pairs of heels, 2 pairs of tennis shoes, and the rest are flip flops and sandals...I wish I was better at accessorizing and matching shoes with outfits but that's not in my skill set. I also just hate wearing shoes/socks.

Love this post!