Being A Mom

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Being A Mom

mother’s day is right around the corner.
crazy to believe this is my 7th mother’s day.
which is nothing compared to so many others out there.
but still hard for me to believe that i have been winging this mom thing for seven years now.
and that’s exactly it, totally winging it.
i mean do any of us really know how to do this?
every day i lay down and think, i shouldn’t have done that, or said that, or i should have been there sooner, or made this, or bought that, or had them wear this, or i wonder how they felt when that happened.
it never stops.
let’s face it – we have a lot on our plates.
it’s a constant worry.
or the days when you turn into ursela at the ending of little mermaid.
and then you regret every.single.thing you said.
and you just lay there waiting for them to wake up in the morning so you can kiss them and tell them you’re sorry and you love them so much.

i remember the sleepless nights.
which seem so long ago.
and the fresh new smells.
and the carrying them everywhere.
so many days i miss that.
and so many days i remember my kids can feed and bathe themselves.
all while i can sit on the couch for two peaceful minutes before someone yells for me to make sure they got all the conditioner out of their hair, or they need me to wash their back.
and i am up and back in mom mode again.
but honestly, i couldn’t imagine it any other way.
7 years ago if you would have said my favorite job is being a mom i would have been hesitate.
i never saw myself as the “mom” type.
but man i love it.
i absolutely love this job.
every single hard and stressful part about this job.
i love it.
i cry daily because of something awesome that they did, something really sweet they said, or a random act of kindness they did for a friend/neighbor/classmate/anyone.
trust me there are days i also cry because i feel like a total failure.

being a mom makes me proud.
but it also makes me scared, nervous, and total worrywart.
always hoping you are planning the best future for them.
teaching them good life lessons.
teaching them hard life lessons.
teaching them in general.

and then there are days when get a random “mom, when you are old i will push your wheelchair into church for you.”
and its oddly weird but perfectly genuine.
makes you think, how in the world did that thought cross their mind?
and all you can do is smile, thank them, cry (because that’s all i do), and remember that everything is going ok.

so to all the moms out there who read this post.
you’re not alone.
we are all winging it.
we are all cry baby worry warts.

i hope your mother’s day is full of every single ounce of love you deserve.

even if you only get to sit down for two seconds.