One Year

Thursday, November 7, 2013

One Year


a year ago today my life changed.
i became a single mom.
i got divorced.
i sent this picture to my bff kim before we met up for dinner that night.
puffy eyes.
no make-up
trying my best to fake a smile.
thinning hair.
weighing in at about 120 pounds.
broken.
i will never forget that day.
everything about it.
every feeling.

another blogger, whitney, blogged about a similar experience the other day.
she mentioned the Marriage Isn't For You article that was going around Facebook.
she talked about how every.single.corner of that post is spot on.
and it SO is.
i see marriage through totally different eyes now.
am i scared of marriage?  absolutely not.
but i take a lot more things into consideration now than this picture perfect life i "wanted" at 22.
i think people think too much of how their life is "supposed" to be.
we have this perfect image in our heads.
but you honestly have to step back and think, it may look pretty on the outside, but it's what's on the inside that TRULY matters.

just like the article talks about - i was in it for me.
i was in it to make the perfect life that i thought others wanted to see.
or what the "normal" was for everyone else my age.
shit, i live in a small town, if you aren't married with a kid by time your 25, what are you waiting for!
guess what - that's NOT a good idea!!
where was someone to bop me upside the head?!  lol.

i truly think more people need to understand this feeling.  hopefully before it's too late.

one year later am i ready to get married again?
no, not yet.
but yes, someday.
and to quote whitney on when that someday comes....
"i want to paint my picture with someone and not try to force someone into a foreign picture neither one of us belong in."
Reactions:

9 comments :

Katie said...

no more puffy eyes! All smiles from here on out. It shows in SO many ways how much happier you are now. You have made HUGE strides in the last year. HAPPY for you & most definitely PROUD of you!!

Amanda aka Manda said...

I love the honesty of this post! You have come so far in this last year! I love your outlook on marriage now. I have the same outlook. I didn't know the "before" Cassie, but I'm so honored to call you my friend now!

The Pink Growl said...

You have been so strong throughout this and very much the bigger person! I know somedays it's hard, but I hope you can feel so proud of yourself. And just think of how much you have helped me! You always know EXACTLY how I feel! I love you! see you in TWO weeks!!!

Tamara @ Everything Happens said...

I feel the exact same way! I want to be married again, I look forward to it and I will enter my next marriage smarter, more forgiving and better prepared. But... NOT right now. It scares me to think about it any time soon. But some day. And PS - Nov 22nd will be my official date - so not far behind you!

Adrien said...

I love that article, and it's something I've always believed. In marriage we are called to outdo each other with love. When both spouses take the focus off of themselves, both are blessed with someone giving their all to them. But that's just it…finding someone to share life with who is willing to do that. :)

I remember every step of your journey as you shared it, and I am very proud of you for where you have come and what you have come through. Praying for nothing but happiness on life's road ahead!

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

Goodbye puffy eyes - hello gorgeous smile!!

Kacie said...

You are amazing!

Katie said...

You are such a strong woman (and even stronger because of what you've been through) and it really is awesome that you're so open to sharing all of it on your blog. It's inspiring! You seem to be in a much better, amazing place and I'm so happy for you!

And props to you for being introspective enough to sort through all of those thoughts and feelings and not being scared to live your life to the fullest!

Jen @ That's What She Read said...

happy divorce-ary. It looks good on you, sweet lady! look at us, surviving and doing great!! :)