Advice

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Advice


let's see here, i broke a mirror last night and today would have been my fourth wedding anniversary.
so yeah, if you see me today, STEER CLEAR!
or just say hi and give me ice cream or something.
my goodness.
i brag about a good day and then BAM - life says, just kidding.
whew - deep breaths.  it's almost friday.
so yes today is also national talk like a pirate day and we could go on about that, but if one more person in the office talks like a pirate i'm going to lose my shit.  lol.
yikes - maybe i should have stayed in bed today.....
so i think this is better for today.
fitting i guess you could say.
my girl tamara who i met via this awesome blog world posted this the other day.
she too has been through a divorce and finding her out in this huge blog world has been amazing.
i truly, truly believe in each point below.
read it.  think about it.  and do it.
and if you're looking for me, just remember it's margarita thursday.....

NEVER stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
 In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Reactions:

12 comments :

Kacie said...

Thinking about you! I hope your day gets better!

Cassie said...

thanks kac - love you!

Tamara @ Everything Happens said...

Oh sweet girl, I'm thinking about you! Our "2 year" anniversary is coming up in a few weeks and I'm already worried about how I'll feel. I've planned a girls night that night so at least I'll have something to look forward to. I hope your day gets better!

Katie said...

Everything happens for a reason and you seem much happier. Sorry if that is wrong to say, but it's pretty obvious.
Maybe the massage people will show up at work tomorrow!! :)

Amanda aka Manda said...

I hope your day gets better. If I wasn't so far away, I'd definitely be there with ice cream! Thinking of you and praying for y'all!

Shannon Snodgrass said...

If we didn't live on the other end of the earth, Victoria and I would def show up with ice cream. It makes everything better :)

I have to say, this made me cry. Divorce is hard, period! I still have my moments... still!! On a lighter note, I love the word "teammate" that is used. I tell Scott when we have a rough patch that we are "teammates", me and you against the world, not each other!

Sending happy thoughts and good ju ju your way. Keeping smiling that beautiful smile and hug those sweet babies! Life is good ;-)

Cassie said...

shannon - you are just awesome, you know that?! thank you. so much!!

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

Hang in there girl!! I can only imagine what you are going through but at the end of the day you are a happier and stronger person than you were before!!

Keep your head up!!

XoXo

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

Hang in there girl!! I can only imagine what you are going through but at the end of the day you are a happier and stronger person than you were before!!

Keep your head up!!

XoXo

Musings of a Childless Mama said...

HI Cassie...am loving your blog:) YOu have been nominated for the Liebster award. Check out my blog for more info.

Teal Vogue said...

Thinking of you girl, hope you have a relaxing weekend!

Katie said...

You are a stronger woman and momma from every experience you have gone through. Love the advice...such a good reminder to us all!